Don't Eat That, Tohru!
by Teh Future Mrs. Kyo Sohma
Summary: Tohru has been stressed out lately. Very stressed out. Eating washing powder, forgetting people she knows and going crazy are all side affects from this. So Hatori says she better go on a holiday. Crazy stuff happens!
1. Tohru! Don't eat that!

**A/N:**

**Kawatta-chan gave me another challenge fic, thus, this was born. To write this story, I was given this sentence.**

"**Tohru eats some washing powder and sits in a freezer too long,"**

**Ta da! Hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FB.**

It was a steamy day in the household of Shiggy Sohma. The sun was blearing down like it does in the outback of Australia, where it's so damn hot, the ground is red (true!). Tohru stumbled out of her bedroom and towards the kitchen, wearing just a pair of Kyo's boxers and one of Yuki's casual t-shirts, which didn't fit him anymore.

Shiggy had offered to give Tohru one of Ayame's 'wondrous' outfits to bed, but Kyo smacked him over the back of the head.

"Pervert! You just wanna rape her in the night!" He had said, which is how Tohru had ended up wearing some of his clothes, and Yuki's.

But now it was the next day and Tohru was in the kitchen. Unusually, she was the last person to arise from their dreamless, sweaty slumber and wander into the depths of the house. Kyo and Yuki greeted her simultaneously with a simple 'hello', whilst Shigure had to exaggerate and babble a minute long good morning. Tohru ignored this and walked into the fridge.

"Ah crap!" Kyo whined loudly, attempting to bring Tohru out of her daze, "She's sleep walkin' again! Again!"

He, Yuki and Shiggy followed her and watched. Shiggy was close to peeling into a fit of laughter, but Yuki was currently threatening him with a fire blanket. Shiggy sighed and watched quietly as Tohru walked to the cupboard and raised her hand.

From what the cousins could see, Tohru's eyes were clenched shut as she took out a box of washing powder and shook it.

"Cereal…" She mumbled softly, before clock open the opening. She tipped her head back and tipped some of the blue substance down her skinny, white, neck. Yuki and the rest gasped loudly and dramatically.

"Tohru!" Shiggy, Kyo and Yuki hollered, both running to her before she swallowed the powder. It was already too late when they all landed face first into her and transformed. Tohru fell to the floor, a pile of animals around her.

**A/N:**

**Very short introduction.**

**Thanks for reading and tune in next time!**


	2. Enter the Freezer

**A/N:**

**Muhahahaha. Ph34r me. **

**I updated.**

**Yun be Yuki. The student council peoples call him that. But in this story, Tohru does. I like 'Yun' better than Yuki.**

Slowly opening her eyes, Tohru noticed that she was lying face first on the kitchen floor. On her leg lay a big black dog. Across her chest, an orange cat and tangled in her hair, a white mouse. Tohru sat up swiftly, catching Yuki as he fell from her hazel locks. She smiled at him.

"Yun! What are you doing in my hair as a mouse?" Then the realization hit her. "I've been sleeping and walking again! Oh no, no, no! Waaahhh!" She flailed her arms about, flinging Kyo into Shiggy. Shiggy jumped up, just as Yuki transformed. Kyo and Shiggy also transformed, within seconds of Yuki.

It took a few moments for Tohru to realize she had three naked men sitting on her. She screeched, and, must to the Sohma's adventage, fainted. Shiggy gasped and pointed to Kyo.

"Thank Akito she fainted! We wouldn't want dear Tohru to be _scarred_ after looking at _you!_"

"Shutup, mutt!" Kyo yelled, whilst standing up and grabbing his clothes from the floor and slipping them on. "She's seen us partly naked plenty-a times!"

"Stupid cat," Yuki sighed. He had already put clothes on. "She hasn't had us sitting on her naked before!"

"DAMN RAT! KEEP YOUR STUPID, FURRY, MOUTH SHUT!"

Yuki rolled his eyes and helped Tohru into a sitting position as she started to wake up. She fluttered her eyes randomly and leaned back into Yuki's hands.

"Yun… my head… where's everyone?"

"Miss Honda! Thank Akito your alright. You ate some washing powder, then we all transformed-"

"How so?" Tohru butted in, not intending to be rude. Yuki nodded.

"Well, we all tried to stop you-"

"But that damn rat got his fat ass in the way and we all tripped onto you!" Kyo finished with a scoff, shooting a glare in Yuki's direction. Shiggy giggled.

"You would only know the size of Yun's bottom if you had been staring at it!" He chortled, clenching his stomach with glee. Kyo smacked him upside the head.

"You filthy mutt!" Kyo seethed through clenched teeth. "I don't wanna stare at stupid Yuki's ass! I wanna kick it! Damn you all!"

And with that, Kyo was out of the house and onto the roof. In the meantime, Tohru was slowly discovering her power that she had obtained. She turned to Yuki and Shiggy.

"Yun, Shiggy," She said slowly, staring at her hands in a manor best describing fright. "I… I… I have the sudden urge to sit in the freezer!" She said, very loudly. So loudly, that on the roof, Kyo could hear her. He rolled his eyes and sat up, listening intently. Woo him.

"Miss Honda?" Yuki said. "I think the powder is making you delirious!"

"Yes dear flower! If you sit in the freezer, you will surly get cold! And even though it is boiling hot this morning, I don't suggest it!"

Tohru sighed and shook her head sadly. "Please! I must go, for it is my duty!" She scurried to the freezer out back with Yuki, Shiggy and Kyo on her tail. He decided to come down and watch; he hadn't had a good laugh in years.

"Tohru, ya moron, you wont fit in there!" He told her, as she opened the freezer lid and started taking things out. She shook her head.

"I will, I will! Let me take all the vegetables out!"

I wanna point out that they (in this story) own a square, floor freezer, not one that is like an extra cold fridge. Okay? Good then.

She got the last of the frozen contents out and jumped in, before shutting the lid. Shiggy stared at the closed lid for a few minutes in silence, along with the others, before saying something intelligent. A lot was on his mind right now.

"Tohru…" he cooed, opening the freezer lid, "Please come out-"

Tohru interrupted him with a loud screech, then a hiss. She glared at him, with daggers in her eyes. Shiggy jumped back a few paces, eyes wide.

"Toh-"

"N-Natural light!" Tohru hissed covering her face with her hands. "Shut the lid!" Yuki shut the lid before anyone was murdered. He put a hand each on Kyo's and Shiggy's back and led them to the table, where they sat.

"What are we going to do with her?" Kyo asked, breaking the train of silence throughout the room. Yuki lifted his head from his hand and stared at Kyo.

"I… I don't know," He replied, honestly and hopelessly. "There's nothing we CAN do until the washing powder is out of her system"

"Call Hatori," Shiggy interrupted, before Yuki could babble more. "He'll know what to do"

The other Sohma's agreed that it would be best to leave Tohru in the freezer for now, or at least until Hatori came.

A/N:

**Be afraid.**

**Tohru is a bit creepy, huh?**

**Poor chick.**


	3. Setting Off a Chain of Advents

**A/N: **

**Meep! So many updates… -hurting head- **

Hatori snuffed out his cigarette as he blew the last of the smoke from his mouth. It curled in the breeze that was wafting in from underneath the kitchen door. Hatori sighed and threw his head back, breathing deeply.

_BRING, BRING! _

Hatori shot up so fast he fell off his chair and onto the floor. He stood up, flailing his arms about, knocking a vase from the table. He cursed, reaching for the phone and picking it up. He swore to Akito, if it was…

"Ha'ri!" Came an annoyingly loud voice from the other end of the line. Hatori's eye twitched with pure rage towards his cousin; why did he always call in the most inappropriate time? "I need something of you, dearest seahorse!"

Hatori rolled his eyes at the phone. "Yes, Shigure?"

"Tohru ate some washing powder, silly girl, and now she refuses to come out of the... freezer," Shiggy admitted coyly, smirking the whole time. "Akito knows why, but she also has taken a dislike to sunshine. Reckon you can help?"

Hatori wouldn't usually rush to Shigure's house, but in the case of Tohru, it was almost an emergency. If Tohru died, the Sohma's would come to a crash and burn. Hatori nodded softly into the phone.

"Hatori…"

"Oh, right. I'll be right over, Shigure,"

Shigure giggled softly. "What's this, Hatori? I mean, I've heard you eager before, but this, this is completely different! Do you have a crush on dearest… KYO!"

"Hanging up, Shigure." Hatori said flatly, before pressing the hang up button on his phone and grabbing his keys. That damn dog. Always thinking the stupidest of things.

.xxx.

Yuki stood silently before the freezer. He could hear Tohru's soft breathing from inside. He listened as she started to mumble random strings of gibberish.

"Take the cake, you bear. I couldn't stop the egg anyway," She spoke within the depths of the freezer, before sighing dramatically. Yuki remembered an episode of "House", were a man went psycho and started to speak gibberish, but he thought he was speaking normal. Yuki suddenly felt scared. He shakily asked Tohru-

"Tohru, are you hungry in there?"

In the freezer, Tohru sat, processing the words Yuki had asked her. She wondered weather she was hungry. Was she? What did she want to eat? Wait a moment, what was that froth coming from the corner of her mouth?

"No Yun… but… froth…" She mumbled, as the froth came in faster blobs of white and yellow.

Yuki wondered what froth meant. He realized, he must get into her! He switched the lights off in the room, and grabbed a torch. Opening the lid, he shone the light on Tohru's face. She hissed softly as Yuki noticed the trails of froth and blood on the bottom of the freezer. He gasped and stepped backwards, accidentally letting go of the lid and jamming his finger in.

"Gah!" He cried, stepping back and tripping on some frozen peas and knocking his head on the ground. Yun was unconscious.

.xxx.

"Hey Hatori," Kyo greeted, as the seahorse wandered in the door. Hatori knew if he didn't move swiftly to Tohru, she would get sicker. Even worse, Shigure would harass him.

"Where is she?" Hatori asked gingerly, peaking around each corner, before walking into each room. He was waiting to be pounced on. Doctors bag in hand, he was ready for it.

"In the freezer, out back," Kyo scoffed, still finding the while thing a bit amusing. "That stupid girly boy is out there with her now. Probably doin' something to her!" Kyo froze. Hadn't he learnt yet not to leave them alone? He walked ahead of the doctor and flung the door open, only to have Yuki's head fall onto his shoe.

"Ah! He's dead!" Kyo screeched, jumping up in fright and slipping over, crashing onto Yuki's back with a thud, his head flopping onto the rat's bottom. For Hatori, everything seemed to go in slow motion as Yuki woke up to find his head between Kyo's legs and Kyo's head resting between his (kind of). Kyo, stunned, sat up onto his hands and knees, realizing he was practically mounting his worst enemy.

Hatori sighed and blocked his ears; if he was lucky, he might be able to hear in the morning.

**A/N: **

**Well, that was a bit creepy. This chapter came out a lot better than I thought it would. Well, I for one am happy. **

**Go me. **

**Go you.**


	4. Haunting Laughter

**A/N:**

**Muhahahaha! I left you with some randomness last chapter.**

**Lots of swearing! Beware, dammit!**

"You fucking rat!" Kyo yelled angrily, jumping from Yuki's back and onto his own two feet. Shocked, appalled and embarrassed, Kyo spoke again. "Stop trying to rape me, ya gay ass!"

"I wasn't raping you, you moron cat!" Yuki yelled back, even angrier that Kyo had assaulted him, whilst he was sleeping. "You were trying to rape me!"

"I was not!" Kyo retorted. "If you weren't sleeping on the god damn floor, I wouldn't have tripped and landed on your clumsy ass!"

"Well, if you weren't so clumsy, it wouldn't be my ass you landed on!" Yuki fumed before standing up and walking towards Hatori. "Hatori knows, doesn't he?"

"No!" Kyo screeched. "He agrees with me! Don't you! He shouldn't sleep on the floor!"

Hatori was trapped. What was he to say? 'Yes Yuki, I agree with you fully! Kyo should watch himself more'. Then Kyo would maul him. But on the other hand saying, 'Yes Kyo! I agree with you! Yuki should get a room!' would put Yuki in a foul mood.

"I'm not getting involved," Hatori muttered quickly and left the two bickering cousins alone whilst he checked on dear Tohru.

.xxx.

'Hatori, Hatori, Hatori' He thought to himself, whilst standing blankly in front of the freezer. 'Have some composure! Where is your posture?'

He stood silently, reaching for the lid of the freezer, with Shigure, Kyo and Yuki on his tail. Yep, Shigure had found him. Yep, Yuki had knocked some sense into Kyo. Yep, Kyo had given up screaming ("Fuck you, asshole! Grr! I'll kill you next time, dammit"). About time, in Hatori's opinion.

He opened it. A slurred noise came from inside.

"Ah… ah… bubble gum cherries…"

Suddenly, P!ATD came on the radio with a very appropriate song for the moment. Yuki sang along, because he had a fetish. So does Akito, but it's better not to speak of these things.

"Watch your mouth, your speech is slurred enough you might swallow your tongue!" He sang enthusiastically. Tohru stared up at him, in a glaring at him angrily.

"Yun, what's the problem!" Tohru asked shocked. She jumped out of the freezer and rubbed her had roughly across his cheek. "You're hot!"

"So the fanclub tells me," He replied.

"Baka!" She said, "I meant you FEEL hot!"

"…"

Hatori wondered why she said 'baka' instead of 'stupid'. Maybe she was still feeling sick from all that washing powder, or something. Hatori patted Tohru on the back softly and led her towards a chair, where he could examine her.

"Open your mouth…" He sighed, poking a long, wooden stick down her throat. Actually, stuff that. Tohru struggled; she didn't like sticks being jammed down her throat. She coughed and spluttered. Why wasn't she being still?

"H't'ri! 'or b'rrnin' me!"

"Burning you?"

"Mmm!"

Tohru twitched randomly as Hatori finished examining her. He sighed and turned to the three worried boys behind him; they really cared for her, he could see. Smiling meekly and nodded to Shigure.

"It's bad," He began, "I'm not quite sure what the problem is. Maybe the washing powder just needs to be flushed out. Maybe she needs sleep. Maybe the powder has gone straight to her brain and will affect her for life. I don't know," Hatori watched as the expressions on his cousins faces changed rapidly. "I'll pop back tomorrow and check her again. In the mean time-"

"What's this Hatori!" Shigure giggled hysterically. "Have you got a lust for our dearest… YUN!"

"Go away, Shigure," Hatori muttered, rolling his eyes and leaving the premises. Though, Shigure's laughter haunted him.

It could be heard anywhere within a 200 mile radius.

**A/N:**

**Poor Tohru. She's all ill and mental.**

**Short chapter…**


	5. A Pervert for Tohru

**A/N:**

**I decided to update this one today. I've been awake for 20 minutes, so if the plot isn't making much sense… I'm sorry. I can't help it.**

"**Just be yourself, you'll be fine!"**

**SHUT UP KYOKO!**

…**wtf?**

"My poor flower!" Shigure choked out. He had been laughing for almost 15 minutes now. First he was laughing because Hatori was lusting over his two cousins. Then he began laughing because Tohru was twitching. Then, he laughed harder because he forgot what he was laughing about. "Are you alright? Do you need anything?"

Tohru sat silently on the chair. Her twitching had become more regular and now she was practically writhing in her seat. Yuki and Kyo eyed her suspiciously; they both had things to do, but they didn't want to leave her alone with Shigure in such a state. He would most likely take advantage of the fact she was so squirmy and delirious. Yuki made an eye movement for Kyo to follow him into the lounge.

"What?" Kyo asked, half angry, half curious. Yuki rolled his eyes.

"We should take it in turns to watch Miss Honda. Obviously we can't leave her alone with that stupid pervert so… I need to go out and buy some things for dinner, so I'm sure your quite capable of looking after her?"

"Of course I am, ya damn rat!" Kyo snapped, then wished he hadn't. "Um… that's a good plan. I'll look after her for you."

Yuki smiled inwardly. "Good. And don't go doing anything to her!" He added, before walking out the door.

.xxx.

Kyo walked into the kitchen, expecting Shigure to be in there sexually assaulting the poor girl. But, he wasn't, much to Kyo's surprise. On second thought, he wasn't even in the kitchen. Instead, it seemed he had sticky taped a note to Tohru's hand.

'Pervert…' Kyo thought as he grabbed the note and read it.

_Dearest Kyo!_

_I have gone to indulge my fantasies with dearest Ayame! I shall be back for dinner! And don't do anything lusty to Tohru, now!_

_Shigure._

'Why the hell does everyone think I'm a pervert?' Kyo questioned himself angrily before throwing the piece of paper in the bin. He grabbed a chair and pulled it into the kitchen, placing it opposite Tohru. He slumped into it and watched her intently.

"Mmm… the panda… the panda took my wallet!" Tohru suddenly screamed, frightening Kyo to death. Lucky he has nine lives, huh? He fell off his chair and sprawled on the floor. Beginning to sit up, Kyo noticed that from the floor he can see directly between Tohru's legs. Blushing like mad, he shook the thought from his mind and shakily went to get some milk.

On the other hand, Tohru was waking up from her delirious sleep. Her eyes fluttered and reached her hands out, soon discovering she wasn't in her bed. Nor was she in her bedroom. Actually, to her, she had been kidnapped and tied to a chair in someone's kitchen! She (being sick) imagined that she was tied down, of course. She began to 'struggle' against the chair, rocking it back and forth.

Kyo whipped his head around. Had Tohru gone psychopathic, or something? Kyo walked over to her chair and knelt down so he could look into her eyes and HYPNOTISE HER. No, kidding.

"Tohru?" He asked playfully, trying to hide the fact he really wanted to laugh at her. "What's the matter?"

"YOU!" She screeched, making Kyo jump. "You kidnapped me and tied me down so you can have your way with me!"

'Have my way with you, huh?' Kyo thought to himself, smirking. 'Wah! I'm becoming a pervert for Tohru! Bad, bad, Kyo!'

.xxx.

Meanwhile, at Saki's house-

"Hmm… Kyo's waves are turning him in to a pervert for Tohru…" She said mysteriously.

"No way!" Uo said. "He wouldn't do that!"

"Should I curse him?" Asked Megumi.

Saki chuckled. "No… not yet…"

.xxx.

Tohru rocked back and worth on her chair against her imaginary chains. Kyo knelt on the floor in front of her, watching with amazement. Tohru's face was pink from all the sweating she had been doing. Kyo's face was pink from watching her move like that. He mentally murdered himself a few times for being like Shigure.

"Tohru, calm down!" He yelled at her, finally. "You're not being held back by anything!" He stood up and grabbed one of her hands and shook it around. "See! You're being an idiot!"

Tohru continued to rock back and forth on her chair until… she let go of the chair to scratch her nose. She went flying into Kyo, who stumbled backwards and they both went crashing to the floor.

Tohru extended her arms and looked down at her 'kidnapper', whom she was currently sitting (more like lying) on. She blushed so red Kyo could practically feel the heat coming from her. Or maybe he was feeling that from himself.

"Eheheh…" She stuttered, before her arms gave way and she collapsed on his chest. Tohru coughed asa suddencloud of smoke disappeared. She stared down ata cat. The cat stared up at her.

"Did that boy just turn into a _cat!_"

**A/N:**

**Wee! KyoxTohru FLUFF!**

**Don't worry YukixTohru fans; there shall be some fluffiness of them next time. **

**Thanks for reading, everyone.**


	6. Yuki to the Eventual Rescue!

**A/N:**

**Updates… wee!**

Hopefully I can squeeze in some YukixTohru fluff in here… 

Yuki had been walking back from the supermarket, minding his own business like a wonderful, law abiding citizen, when he was suddenly abducted by two laughing assailants…

"We got him!"

"We got him!"

"Super!"

…Which happened to be Shigure and Ayame. There wasn't much of a need for the abduction of the lovable prince, it's just Ayame didn't think Yuki would listen to him unless he captured him and tied him to a chair. Shigure's idea, of course. Yuki squirmed.

"Brother… what do you want?" You could practically fry an egg on his forehead he was that hot with rage towards his snake-cursed brother. Ayame chuckled.

"I'm coming around for dinner tonight! Just wanted you to know!"

"…"

Yuki refused to say anything. He was afraid that it might, (and would), be used against him in the court house-like conditions people were put though at the Estate. Ayame untied the ropes he had used and set Yuki free… only to walk him and Shigure home.

.xxx.

Yuki had made it. Thank Akito; he had made it to his house, where he could seclude himself from his brother in his bedroom. Thank Akito he had a lock on his door. He sighed with relief as he neared the front door.

There was an ear piercing holler from within the house. Yuki froze. Shigure choked back laughter at the look on Yuki's face. Ayame only cared about Yuki's face and how it might get wrinkles from being scrunched up like that.

"What… the hell… was that?" Yuki asked through gritted teeth.

'What has the moronic cat done to her?' he mentally asked himself. He wondered how he could trust him to look after her. He slammed open the door, Shigure and Ayame on his tail, and stormed into the kitchen.

"Stupid cat!" He yelled as he opened the door, expecting to see Kyo trying to maul Tohru, or something insane like that. Instead, he found Tohru, kneeling on the ground, a shocked look on her face. In her lap, sat an orangey coloured cat, a disturbed look on his face.

Yuki stared. Ayame gasped. Shigure cried. With laughter.

.xxx.

"So you're saying, she doesn't remember that Kyo is a cat, but she knows that you're a rat?" Hatori asked Yuki from the phone. Yuki had immediately called Hatori after Tohru kept on repeating, in a rushed fashion-

"How come that boy just turned into a cat? Is he sick? Why are you a rat Yuki? Are you sick, too?"

-over and over again. Hatori mumbled something into the phone, which was most likely "I'll be there in a minute," or "TAKE ME NOW!". Yuki didn't really know and decided to shoo every single person from the kitchen except himself and Tohru.

He barged in. "Move," He said bluntly and pointed for the door. Shigure and Ayame whispered about grandchildren and great grandchildren before tomorrow morning. Kyo picked up his clothes in his mouth, mumbled "I hate you," and stomped away. But cats can't stomp. Yuki chuckled in his head and sat beside an appalled Tohru.

"Are you alright?" He asked her softly, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "You seem worried about something. Is something worrying you, Tohru?"

Silence.

"Come on, you can tell me. It's me here, Yuki. Come on, tell me what's worrying you," He cooed softly. If he was the only one she could remember, he may as well make use of it and see if he could cure her himself.

Silence.

"Tohru, listen to me. It's Yuki, the rat. Tell me, what's worrying you. Come on, come on,"

Tohru lifted her head up and gazed towards the fridge. She eyed it for a while before coking her head and turning to Yuki.

"That boy turned into a cat, Yuki," She cried. "There's something wrong with him!"

"No, no…" Yuki said, patting her hand. "It's Kyo. Do you remember him? He was looking after you while I was gone."

"NO!" She yelled abruptly, her breathing becoming irregular. "He kidnapped me! Then you saved me. You heard me scream when he turned into a cat,"

Tohru seemed to be happy with what she thought was going on. To her, this was the most logical thing that happened. Of course, Kyo was now dressed and explaining, in detail, that Tohru had gone mad. Lost it. Gone bonkers.

Yuki smiled down at her, a smile that was rarely seen by anyone. Tohru gave him and awkward smile in return. Not the smile she usually smiled; a pained smile, a sick smile. A hurt smile.

"Yuki," She asked. "Did I do something wrong? Is Kyo mad at me now?"

Yuki stopped dead. So now she remembered Kyo? He had concluded this was more than just the washing powder. She had something wrong with her. Something that needed to be treated… And fast.

"H-Hey!" Yuki called out, which signaled for them to come in. Kyo seemed more worried than the others.

"What, what is it? What?" He asked quickly, as if on drugs.

"There's something wrong with her… she doesn't know who you are… but she thinks she did something to you,"

Kyo stared. Ayame gasped. Shigure cried. With Laughter.

**A/N:**

**This story is coming along so slowly, dammit!**

**I need to end it soon… got too many stories around already.**

**Got an idea?**


	7. Hatori Says

**A/N:**

**Poor Tohru.**

**She's feeling a bit better now, though.**

Hatori had arrived. He'd inspected the young girl many times over. He'd asked her things. He'd given her things to eat and drink. But nothing logical could come to his mind.

"Has she been under a bit of stress, looking after you two slobs?" Hatori asked Kyo and Shigure. They exchanged glances. "Be honest. I know Yuki wouldn't be a bother to her…"

"She has been sleep walking a bit," Kyo said finally. "I catch her almost every night wandering around the house,"

"Why aren't you asleep?" Yuki asked, eyeing the cat. "Are you stalking her?"

Kyo blushed a deep shade a red. "What! Shut the hell up!"

Hatori rolled his eyes. "Answer my question, if it's not to much trouble,"

The three boys mentally communicated with each other. They shot glances. Kyo shot Yuki an abusive signal with his finger. Shigure shot Kyo an abusive signal with his tongue. Hatori sighed impatiently.

"Well," Shigure sighed. "She has been under a bit of stress lately, what with school and paying her fees and needing new clothes. We haven't been supporting her much, as in helping her around the house. A guess Yuki and Kyo have been good; they occasionally help with dinner when they can. As for me…" Shigure paused. "I have done nothing for her,"

Silence.

"She's so damn picky though!" Kyo blurted out. "When we ask to help her she just says she's okay and pushed us away! It's her own damn fault she's stressed!"

Prolonged silence.

"I think," Hatori grimaced. "I think a mixture of stress and anxiety has pushed her over the edge. Then the whole washing powder thing…"

The boys looked confused. Hatori rubbed his temples to avoid from killing them all.

"What I'm saying is she needs a-"

.xxx.

"That's right!" Shigure giggled into the phone to Momiji. "We're all taking Tohru on a holiday to make her feel more relaxed and we want you to come!"

"Wow Shigure!" Momiji yelled loudly. "I'm so happy! Thank you so much!"

Momiji hung up and raced up the hallways to were Haru and Kagura were chatting over martial arts. They were stunned by the boy that ran up to them.

"Guess what, guess what!" He called out, although he was standing a few feet from their faces. "Tohru's feeling better and she's going on a holiday! I'm invited!"

"Are we?" Haru questioned softly, although he doubted he would.

"No…" Momiji's eyes glazed with tears. "I'm sorry! It was Shigure's decision… but hey! Tohru's better now!"

But Momiji was wrong. This was Tohru's rehabilitation.

Hatori has decided Tohru needed a bit of rehab away from home. This was not in his hands anymore. This was in the hands of Fate itself. He figured the best place for Tohru to go would be the hot springs; they seemed quite relaxing. Hopefully Tohru would be able to call upon herself to wake up from this crazy dream.

He could only hope.

**A/N:**

**Hmm. Poor girl.**

**I feel sort of sorry for her.**

**Her and her… craziness. **


	8. Kitchen Catastrophe

**A/N:**

**Okay, here we go. Deep breaths now.**

**I want this chapter to be good, dammit!**

**So here goes…. (swallow)**

Tohru had been sent to bed after Hatori left. He had decided that she needed a good nights sleep, for tomorrow would be the day they set off on a weeks worth of holidays at the Sohma hot spring.

"Goodnight, my flower!" Shigure had giggled as she stumbled her way up the stairs, softly mumbling things to herself. He waited until he was sure she was in her room before speaking again.

"This is serious, boys." Shigure began, lighting a cigarette. Smoke curled from his mouth. "I know neither of you would purposely hurt her… but she's in a lot of trouble right now."

"Like duh!" Kyo snorted. "We aint blind, ya know." He paused. "But she needs to let us help around the house more. She can't do everything by herself, even though she believes it's the only reason we keep her here."

"As a matter of fact…" Yuki sighed. "As a matter of fact, she's here because we've all accepted her into this family. She has no other family except us and her Grandpa, who isn't much of a help to her."

The boys wallowed in their thoughts of the young, brown haired princess they'd all come to love. She'd popped out of nowhere; just like a click of the fingers. She'd helped them see through the tough times and watched over them in the good times. She'd worried for them when they were sick and she'd fed them good foods to prevent sickness coming.

She was their Wonder Woman and they were her people.

"This better do her good…" Kyo mumbled as he wandered his way to the roof, his sanctuary from everything bad and noisy.

"It will," Shigure assured with a smile, as Kyo slammed the door in his face. He turned to Yuki. "Won't it?"

Yuki, his head resting on one of his hands, looked up. "I don't know, Shigure." He said. "Is this really going to help her, or is it just going to soothe her?"

"I think soothing is what the girl needs." Shigure said, a grin on his face. He suddenly had an idea. "I mean, after all the things you and Kyo to do her in be-."

"Pervert." Yuki muttered as his hand came in contact with Shigure's face.

.xxx.

Tohru rose the next morning to a start. She had left for over 12 hours; she was ashamed! She had to make breakfast and sort through the socks and make sure everyone got to school okay!

"Nyaa!" She hollered as she jumped out of bed with a thud. She thundered down the hallway at top speed before racing downstairs. Her heart thumped loudly as she grabbed a random cup from the cupboard and threw some milk and cereal into it and stuck it in the oven.

"That's Kyo done!" She giggled triumphantly. "Now Yuki!"

Tohru threw the fridge door open once again and fiddled around for something edible. She found a plate with left overs on it.

"This'll do!" She grinned, before putting it in the oven also. "Everyone likes hot food, except Shigure! What does Shigure eat? Can food!"

She hauled herself towards the cupboard and went in search for something, anything, in a can. She couldn't see anything, until it dropped onto her foot.

"Damn!" She swore, as she picked up the offending item. "Oh, wait. This is dog food, isn't it?"

As a matter of fact it is creamed corn in a can. She got a bowl from under the sink and began to try and open the can. She threw it against the wall. That didn't work. She smashed it across the table. That didn't work either.

"I'll go ask that boy who's a cat." She sighed. "He'll know!"

.xxx.

Kyo had woken up thanks to loud giggling and banging noises. He rolled over and looked at the time; it was 3 in the morning!

"What the…"

He sat up in bed and listened as Tohru 'attempted' to make breakfast. He raised an eyebrow; what was going on down there? He cringed as he heard her swear. It was so foreign to hear Tohru swear. This was followed by banging and loud cries, followed by thumping up the stairs. Before he knew it, she was standing in front of him.

"Can you open this for me?" She asked, with no please… gasp! "I can't get it to open."

"Eheheh…" Kyo smiled hesitantly. "That's creamed corn…"

"No!" She argued. "It's dog food. For Shigure! Now, are you going to help me or not? I need to make breakfast!"

Kyo stared. "Tohru, it's 3 in the morning. Go back to bed."

"Nooo! I must make breakfast!" She flailed out of the room and back downstairs. Kyo figured it would be best if he followed her, before she hurt herself. He slipped on a pair of jeans and a shirt and slipped down the stairs.

.xxx.

The kitchen was in shambles. Pots, pans, cups, packets of food; it was all over the floor. The oven seemed to be on as well. A bowl lay carelessly on the floor in front of his feet. He bent down to pick it up.

"No, leave that there." Came Tohru's voice, stunning the half-asleep cat. He jumped and dropped it.

"S-Sorry…" He mumbled, a blush evident on his face. Tohru wasn't so pleased.

"You idiot!" She raged. "Look what you did! Shigure had to eat from that! Now Shigure can eat from you!"

"Argh!" Kyo yelled as he ran back upstairs and into his bedroom, before slamming the door and locking it. Tohru had gone crazy. It was just lucky she was going to the hot spring in, uh, 7 hours.

.xxx.

Tohru stood angstly in the kitchen. Her heart beat softly; it was the only noise she could hear. Food, plates, bowls and shards of who-knows-what were scattered everywhere. Did she do that? She couldn't remember doing it.

"Wait…"

_That's right. Kyo's mad at me now, isn't he? _Tohru thought sadly as she bent down to pick up the broken bowl. _What is happening to me?_

She began to clean up. She didn't know why, but this, to her, seemed very unlike how she would usually act. But she felt as if she should, because she was the one who made it. Sighing, she continued to clean. She scrubbed the floor with a mop, because it was covered with bits of this, that and the other. She washed the dishes, because they were stacked miles high. She unclogged the sink. It seemed someone had coughed up a hair ball.

_Kyo. _She grinned mentally.

Hours passed. The kitchen was spotless. She'd never seen such a clean kitchen in her life. Tohru closed her eyes and put her hands to her heart; she's done something that was good! Smiling, she opened the door of the kitchen to come face to face with-

.xxx.

Hours passed. Yuki had heard Kyo go to Tohru's aid, so decided not to make a deal over it. Noises kept erupting from downstairs though, which stopped him from sleeping. He decided to do his homework instead.

Now that it was morning and the sun was creeping over the hills, the birds began to chirp. Yuki smiled as the sun shone on his face. He knew that everyone was already awake. Getting off the chair, he swayed down the stairs. Kyo and Shigure were discussing what happened earlier that morning.

"… And she kept asking me to open this can of creamed corn, because she thought it was dog food." Kyo scoffed. "So I told her it wasn't and she said it was for you, because you're a dog."

"I see." Shigure nodded. "I see."

"And, and, when I went to pick up the bowl she was going to feed you from?"

"Right?"

"She scared the living crap outta me and I dropped it." Kyo concluded, slightly embarrassed. Yuki rolled his eyes.

"I thought cats were always on their feet." He remarked, before noticing crashes could still be heard in the kitchen. His gaze drifted to the closed door. "Is Miss Honda still in there?"

"Leave her be," Shigure said. "She'll be alright. I think she's making breakfast."

Now, Yuki didn't realize Tohru was still a bit, well, out of it. He nodded and sat down before listening to the rest of the conversation, silent.

"So, after I broke it," Kyo continued, has fingers on the table, making people. "I said I was sorry and Tohru gets all mad and goes, 'yeah, well, you broke what Shigure was gonna eat from, so now he can eat from you'. I got all freaked out so I ran back upstairs and climbed on the roof."

Shigure nodded once again. "Seems she's feeling… sort of better."

"So it would seem." Yuki agreed. Suddenly, there was a sigh of relief from the kitchen. The door swung open.

.xxx.

-A pigsty! Tohru hadn't seen such a dirty room. She turned back to the kitchen and looked into the clean paradise. She could almost imagine clouds rolling on the breeze. She turned back to where the three cousins were sitting.

"This room is a disgrace!" She hollered angrily. "Haven't you people ever heard of cleaning before?"

Shocked, Yuki pulled a smile.

"Um, Miss Honda… are you alright?"

"Don't you Miss Honda me!" Tohru snapped, pointing a finger at Yuki. "I just cleaned that kitchen…"

She paused and stepped aside, showing the three what she had done. They gasped. It was spotless!

"Quick, come in. I want to show you everything I did…" Tohru eerily. Shigure, Yuki and Kyo exchanged glances before wandering into the kitchen behind the crazy girl.

"See, everything's clean! The only thing is the oven…"

She turned to the oven, which was still on with all that food in it. She opened the door up. Kyo gasped.

"Tohru, wait!"

She turned the heat up some more.

"There. I'll just leave it to boil all the foo-."

Sludge oozed across the walls. The food exploded everywhere, making an utter mess of the kitchen Tohru had just cleaned. Milk, cereal and random assortments of other foods dripped from everyone and everything.

Tohru wiped the gunk from her face angrily.

This was the last straw.

**A/N:**

**Hahaha! I've been planning this one for a while. **

**You thought I'd forgotten about the oven!**

**Wee! **


	9. Burst of Anger and A Punch To The Head

**A/N:**

**What will maniac Tohru do this time?**

**Man, I don't even know.**

**That's why I asked!**

**(cricket chirping)**

…**Fine then. (angsts)**

**Disclaimer: I got the idea from the Simpsons. Sort of.**

Tohru threw her hands up in the air.

"God dammit!" She screeched. "This sucks! I just cleaned this whole kitchen! You're all hopeless! Argh!"

She jumped up and down angrily.

"Uh, Tohru, you put that stuff in the oven…" Kyo said hesitantly. He didn't want to be mauled, or anything.

"What's that I hear?" Tohru seethed, turning around on her heels. "Why, it's Kyo, the stupid, hopeless Cat who can't do anything right!" She practically spat in his face. "Give up, you moron! You annoy the hell out of me!"

Kyo, Shigure and Yuki gasped. What was going on?

"Honestly, Miss Honda…" Yuki sighed. "Kyo didn't do anything."

"What am I hearing now?" She asked herself madly, turning to Yuki. "Oh look. It's the spoilt little Rat. The answer to a question than nobody asked!" She grinned. "You're so up yourself! It's almost embarrassing!"

Yuki breathed in deeply as he reminded himself that she wasn't serious. She was sick.

"Tohru, please, this is going too far!" Shigure chuckled seriously. "Calm down."

"Oh, would you listen to that!" Tohru barked as she turned to the Dog (pun intended). "It's Shigure, the so called, 'master novelist'. The only thing you've ever mastered in you're life, is making an idiot of yourself in front of everyone!" Tohru yelled at him. "Highschool girls this, highschool girls that! It gets rather repetitive!"

"…Oh." Shigure mumbled.

"PATHETIC!" She hollered at them, pointing her finger at each of them. "All of you!"

And that's when she hit the ground, a small bump evident on her forehead.

.xxx.

"I can't believe you hit her," Hatori said calmly, rubbing an ointment onto Tohru's lump. "I just didn't think you'd hurt her like that."

Kyo ran a hand through his hair. He felt terrible; he'd punched Tohru in the head, for Akito's sake!

"She was runnin' her mouth!" Kyo retorted, but then regretted it. "What I mean is-."

"What you mean is you were an idiot." Yuki finished for him. "And you feel terrible for it."

Kyo sighed. "Yeah. Exactly."

Yuki was taken aback. Kyo was agreeing with him? Shigure and Hatori were equally as surprised. Hatori put a hand to Kyo's forehead.

"Well," Hatori concluded. "You're not sick. Which means you meant it."

"Damn straight!" Kyo yelled. "I can't believe I was so stupid as to hit her! Hit Tohru! I mean, what the hell is wrong with me!" He bunched his hands into fists, looked and them and stormed off.

Yuki grimaced.

"I'll go and pack Tohru's bags. The quicker we get her to this place, she quicker this nightmare will be over."

Shigure giggled. "You just want to touch Tohru's underpants!"

"You know Shigure, you should pay attention to what Tohru said, at times." Yuki scowled, before also walking off. Shigure had a blank expression on his face.

"You copped her wrath too, huh?" Hatori asked Shigure as he went to wash his hands. Tohru was lying on the ground still. She groaned softly.

"Sure did. She told me I was pathetic."

"I'm sure she didn't mean it." Hatori said. _Although, you are at times._ Hatori added, mentally.

Shigure smiled. "She's waking up, Ha'ri. She's waking up."

**A/N:**

**I know this was pathetically short. **

**I just felt like updating this one.**

**-**

"**Damn right it was pathetic! The only thing you've ever achieved in you're perverted life is a laugh out of me! Ha!"**

"**But I'm still just a kid."**

"…**(runs)"**

**-**

**Haha.**


	10. More Random Fighting

**A/N:**

**El Gasp. **

**Be shocked.**

**COS I JUST WOKE UP, DOODES.**

**Kinda like Tohru is about to…**

Tohru's arm twitched slightly as her eyes fluttered slowly, but surely, open. She grumbled some incoherent, before rolling over. Right into Hatori.

"Tohru." He said monotonously, in a very boring attempt to wake her up. "Are you alright?"

She petted his leg and nodded, before sitting slowly up. She turned to Shigure and smiled. Hatori raised an eyebrow.

"I'm okay now." She said, slightly apologetic. "I didn't mean to cause as much trouble as I did. I suppose… I suppose I've been feeling a bit sick lately… and stressed…" she paused. "Where are Yuki and Kyo?"

Shigure held back a laugh. "Yuki's packing your bags and Kyo…" he stopped and pointed at her. Tohru, worried, put a hand to her forehead and winced.

"Ouchies…" She muttered as she fingered the wound on her head. "Did I fall?"

Hatori exchanged glances with Shigure.

'Should we tell her the truth?"

'Nah! Make her think she fell!'

'Shigure… this is serious.'

'Muhahaha! I'm an ass!'

Tohru's eyes widened at the way Shigure was talking, through face. She could tell, because she secretly has super powers and can pick up when someone is sad, or happy or lying for that matter. Silly, silly girl.

"It's okay, you can tell me the truth." She said sweetly. "I won't be mad."

"Uh, Tohru… Kyo punched you in the head." Hatori mumbled sympathetically.

Tohru's eyes grew as big as saucers as her hands slowly reached up and clutched her cheeks.

"B-But…" She stood up and made her way outside. Shigure shrugged and followed her. Hatori sighed and also tagged along.

.xxx.

The wind blew relaxingly upon the roof. Kyo lay, his hands behind his head, the sun beating down on his skin and the wind ruffling his hair.

"Damn." He said quite simply as he heard the door being open and closed. It was probably someone to come and tell him off for being a moron. If anything, it might be Yuki just to get on his case again, so he'd have a reason to smack him upside the head.

He turned; someone was walking up the ladder.

"Uh, hey!" He called out in a fashion describing that whoever was coming up, he didn't want up there. "What the hell do you-ooo Tohru!.?"

Kyo's eye twitched as he saw the welt on her forehead. Tohru smiled at him.

"Hello Kyo." She said acidly. "How are you?"

Kyo searched for something to say. "Uh… okay, I guess. Listen, I'm really, um, sorry about what happened before…" He paused, racking his mind for something else to make his apology sound good. "And… and…"

"It's okay." She said. "You can't say anything to turn back time. So don't worry yourself about it… OH MY! What's that!" Tohru announced loudly, before flailing her arms in a random direction. Kyo turned around.

"Hi-ya!"

A fist came in contact the back of Kyo's head. Her turned and stared at Tohru, her hand now pressed firmly against his forehead. He blinked.

"You suck." He said matter-of-factly. "And you're weak."

His bangs rested peacefully across her knuckles. She blushed.

"Oh no!" She hollered, before running back into the house. Kyo scratched his head.

"Okay. Someone please tell me what the hell just happened?"

.xxx.

Yuki hauled the suitcase towards her wardrobe. He'd already thrown in her, uh… unmentionables and other bits and pieces.

_If I don't go to Hell for this, I'll be surprised._

He'd shut his eyes tightly as he reached into that draw, filled with frilly bra's and underpants. He'd shuddered he'd touched them. But he lived of the thought that,

_If I don't do it, Shigure will. And Shigure is a pervert._

Yuki nodded to himself. He'd heard Tohru's voice when she woke up, but thought it would be best if he stayed upstairs. Surely, the first thing she would do would be to look for Kyo and either yell at him or punch him herself.

_Kyo getting beaten by a girl._

Yuki found himself giggling at the thought as his hands slipped inside the wardrobe and pulled out some random dresses, skirts and shirts.

He suddenly heard loud footsteps behind him.

"Eh?" Tohru's bedroom door flung open and she stepped in.

"Hey Yuki." She said sitting on the bed behind him. "Am I weak? Because Kyo said I am."

Yuki stared at his hands for a moment.

_Damn that cat!_

"Yes… I suppose so… but then again, we're boys… so we're stronger than you anyway."

Tohru nodded. "Okay. Oh wait, are we going to the hot spring?"

"Yes." Yuki answered, before zipping up her suitcase. He gave her a nod. She nodded back.

"I feel better now, though."

_Yeah, last time you said that, you destroyed the kitchen._

"I… see. But, wouldn't you like another holiday?" Yuki tempted, trying to get her off his case. "It'll be fun."

Tohru sighed. "I guess so. After all, everyone is going to be there this time!"

.xxx.

The bus pulled up outside Shigure's house several hours later. In the hours that had past,

Kyo had come down from the roof and got a cop from Yun.

Tohru insisted she was fine.

Momiji had talked on the phone so loudly, Shigure could hear it from the toilet.

Yuki scratched his bottom in public.

Yes, it seemed one of the highlights of the day, was that Yun scratched his ass. In front of everyone. Kyo had burst into laughter, although it seemed sort of forced. As in, he just wanted to pick on Yun.

"Ha!" He yelled at Yuki. Yuki rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure you do it too." Yuki said. "Oh, wait, I forgot. Your ass is your face."

Kyo twitched and threw a chair at Yuki. Yuki moved and sighed.

BUT! None of that is important, because right now, Tohru is putting her suitcase in the back of Momiji's famous minivan!

"Wow Momiji, is this your Dad's?" Tohru asked him.

"Yup!" He replied jumpily, hopping all around the girl as she moved. "Come inside, it looks different now. There's a TV!"

**(I can't remember if there was a TV in there before or not.)**

Tohru smiled and allowed herself to be dragged onboard. Yuki and Kyo exchanged evil glances before Yuki pointed to the door.

"Assholes first." Kyo sneered. Yuki shrugged and walked on in. Kyo came up behind him…

Only to have a door in the face.

**A/N:**

**Doode, I just realized something. **

**It's taking them a real long time to get to the hot spring, isn't it?**

**Hopefully, next chapter, they'll be there.**

**(smile)**


	11. Ritsu's Mum Has Got It Going On

**A/N:**

**Hmm. Let's see if I can get them to go to that damned hot spring this time.**

**Heehee, I have a habit of dragging things on…**

**NOTE! I can't remember if I ever said Hatori and Shigure were gonna come or not, but they actually are. They won't make an appearance until later though. You'll soon find out why. **

Kyo gasped a fist full of Momiji's hair and yanked roughly on it.

"Would you just shut up, already?" He snarled, as Momiji began to cry.

"It's not fair! It's not fair! I didn't do anything wrong!" Momiji wailed in return, slapping at Kyo's hands like they were flies. Very painful flies.

"Except be annoying!" Kyo yelled, tugging harder before pushing his younger cousin off the seat and onto the floor.

Yuki had been doing his best to ignore them, but couldn't help but say something when not only was Momiji crying, but Tohru was too.

"P-Please you guys…" She stuttered as tears leaked from her eyes. "Can't we all just get along?"

Silence consumed the small cabin. The only sound that could be heard was the gentle, yet persistent buzz of the television.

"Okay, Tohru." Momiji smiled, breaking the silence, just as the bus came to an unnecessary halt. Yuki jumped slightly from the shock. Kyo jumped a few feet and fell flat on his ass.

"Tsk… stupid driver." Kyo muttered as he stood up. "Well, looks like we're here."

"Oh, oh!" Momiji exclaimed, standing up with the aid of Tohru. "Do you think Ha'ri and Shiggy have made it yet?"

"I'm not sure." Yuki mumbled. "They were right behind us in Hatori's car," He said, pointing out the back window. "But now they're not."

Kyo grizzled. "Yeah, well, they'll be here soon." _I hope they both died in a car accident. _Kyo added mentally.

"I hope they're okay." Tohru said, starting to feel worried. She hurried to the cabin door and opened it. "Should we look for them?"

"No, no! Tohru, we must go to the hot springs right now so you can feel better!" Momiji insisted, grabbing her hand and tugging her to the gates. "Get the bags, Yuki and Kyo!" He added as they both scurried off into the distance.

.xxx.

"M-Momiji, I'm fine! Really!" Tohru whined, trying to yank free from the teens grasp as he hauled her towards the hot spring lady, or better known as Ritsu's Mum.

"Hello, Ritsu's Mum!" Momiji giggled, petting her hand. "How are you today?"

Ritsu's Mum smiled quirkily. "I am fine, young master Momiji. I see you've bought the lovely Tohru Honda back for another visit." She smiled. "Ah but where are young masters Yuki and Kyo?"

"They're getting our bags." Tohru told her, looking over her shoulder.

"What… what... lovely boys." Ritsu's Mum said, before heading towards the door. "I shall escort you to your rooms."

Ritsu's Mum lead them to the door and opened it. "Your usual room as always, Tohru." She flung her hand inside and showed her. "As you like it."

"Yay for Ritsu's Mum! She's the…"

"Best." Tohru offered, smiling still. Ritsu's Mum jolted.

"Nooo! I am surely not the best! No one can ever think such things of me! There are more worthy people in this world for that kind of compliment than me! I'm sorry! I don't want you to ever think things like this about me! I am not the best! I am not!"

Momiji prodded her in her side. Ritsu's Mum stopped talking at stared at him.

"What was that gesture for?" She asked him firmly.

"To make you be quiet." She chuckled, before leading her away.

.xxx.

"You idiot!" Kyo yelled at Ritsu's Mum as soon as she stepped into the hallway. "We've been looking everywhere for you! What kind of hostess lady leaves her hosts to get lost in the middle of nowhere?"

"We're not in the middle of nowhere," Yuki pointed out. "We're in a hallway."

"LIKE IT FRICKEN MATTERS!" Kyo growled. "Where's our room?" She shouted at Ritsu's Mum. She began to cry.

"I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO LEAVE YOU ALL BY YOURSELF! I'M SO SELFISH! I WAS ONLY THINKING OF MYSELF! WHAT IF YOU HAD BEEN OBDUCTED? WHO WOULD BE TO BLAME? I WOULD! I AM SO SORRY! FORGIVE ME! FOOOORRRRGIIIVVVEEE MEEE!" She hollered, before flinging herself down the hallway and out of sight. Kyo and Yuki both sweat dropped.

"Well, that was weird." Kyo stated before turning to the door she'd come out of and opened it. Momiji was inside, as he had guessed.

"I agree, for once." Yuki agreed, following Kyo inside with the bags.

"Oh, Kyo! And Yuki too!" Tohru gasped. "You're both here now! But…" She eyed the door. "Shigure and Hatori still aren't."

"I wouldn't worry about them, Miss Honda." Yuki smiled, touching her shoulder. "They're grown boys, they can look after themselves."

_So much like his brother…_ Tohru glimmered, smiling stupidly.

"Okay Yuki…" She mumbled.

.xxx.

MEANWHILE, AT FLICKEY'S.

"I still don't understand why you made us stop here." Hatori gritted through his teeth. "Was it really necessary to stop after a 15 minute ride?"

Shigure wolfed down the last of his Flickey burger. "Yes. Yes it was. For I was starving and needing to pee very badly!" Shigure began to fake cry. "Or would you prefer I went to the bathroom in your car?"

Hatori's eye brow twitched. This was going to be a very, VERY long car trip.

Gasp!

Will Hatori ever indure Shigure long enough to get to the hot springs?

Will Shigure be able to ride long enough in the care without getting hungry or needing to pee?

Will Yuki and Kyo ever get along?

Will Tohru ever get to that damn hot spring?

Will the Authoress ever stop wasting everyone's time?

All these questions will be answered…. LATER.

**A/N:**

**Gasp. That was kinda… weird.**

**I swear to Akito, next chapter Tohru will ACTUALLY bathe IN the hot spring.**

**(sighs) **


	12. In The Water, Plus Other Random Stuff

**A/N:**

**TOHRU, FOR GOD SAKES, GET IN THE WATER.**

**That's what been on everyone's minds, right?**

**Well… Ta-dah!**

Gasp!

Last chapter's questions will now be answered!

Will Hatori ever endure Shigure long enough to get to the hot springs? Probably not!

Will Shigure be able to ride long enough in the care without getting hungry or needing to pee? No way!

Will Yuki and Kyo ever get along? In your sexy yaoi dreams!

Will Tohru ever get to that damn hot spring? Maybe!

Will the Authoress ever stop wasting everyone's time? NEVER!

Now back to our original broadcast.

"Tohru, Tohru!" Hollered Momiji with ear-shattering loudness. Kyo twitched. "Let's get in the hot spring before anyone mysteriously drops dead! I'm talking to you, reader!"

Yuki rubbed his head. "Momiji, who are you talking to?"

Momiji winked. "That's my secret."

And so, Yuki didn't ask more, for he didn't want a ten thousand year lecture on who the reader was, how he didn't actually exist and that he is nothing more than a figment of coloured pencil. Kyo twitched some more.

"Okay Momiji!" Tohru grinned, running to the bathroom with a towel. As you know, to get into the hot spring, you must not be wearing any clothing. Tohru began to take off her clothes. Yuki, Kyo and Momiji stared at the door.

_HORMONES. _Kyo twitched mentally.

_Crap… _Yuki sighed mentally.

_Hotdogs! Oh, I mean… oh no… _Momiji squeaked mentally.

My my, what naughty boys. Letting their young, raging hormones get the better of them. And on poor, innocent- and sick- Tohru Honda, none the less! Why, shame on them. Shame on them all-

"GET TO THE HOT SPRING, YOU IDIOT!"

Fine. You want the hot spring? Here it is.

.xxx.

"Ah…" Tohru sank back into the relaxingly warm waters of the female hot spring. She leaned up against the crevasse of the wall and listened to Kyo and Momiji fight. It wasn't particularly interesting, but it was better than insomniatic silence.

"You noisy Rabbit!" Kyo yelled. "Can't you be quiet? Tohru's trying to get better!"

"You're the one who's yelling!" Momiji yelled back.

"No! I wasn't yelling! You are!" Kyo yelled in return.

"ALL OF YOU." Tohru sounded. "I'm trying to rest, here."

Silence. Tohru entertained herself with thoughts of Kyo, Momiji and Yuki naked in the hot spring.

"Ah…" She sighed, sinking even deeper into the water.

.xxx.

AT FLICKEYS; 30 MINUTES LATER FROM LAST TIME.

Hatori's eye was on the verge of popping out of his head. Shigure giggled softly as he re entered the car.

"Ha'ri…" He mumbled. "I'm really sorry. I just needed to pee…"

Hatori looked away from the dumb dog and drove.

"Shigure." He began. "If you make me pull over for Flickey's one more time, you can walk to the hot spring. I don't care how much you complain. Hell, I don't care if you pee in my car. But we are NOT stopping again. The hot spring is only an hours drive away. So sit down." He paused. "And shut up."

Shigure whined softly, but didn't open his mouth. Hatori smiled; he was winning! They were going to get there before Momiji and the others left!

.xxx.

"Well, that was boring." Kyo concluded as he finished buttoning up his shirt. "I hate the hot spring."

"So why'd you come?" Yuki asked him, glaring. "Why come and bother us with your useless whining and complaining?"

Kyo twitched for the eightieth time that day. It seemed it was the only thing he COULD do.

"Shigure and Hatori…" Tohru mumbled sadly.

"What about them, huh, huh?" Momiji bounced around the brown-haired girl happily. What there was to be happy about, not even Akito knows.

"They… aren't here." She said blankly.

"They're fine." _They died. I bet they did. Woohoo! I'm gonna be laughing my ass off at their funerals! _Kyo added mentally, smiling for a reason only he knew. Tohru smiled back.

"Well… okay." She said softly, before crawling into her bed, despite the fact it was only about 7pm at night.

**A/N:**

**Very short, I know.**

**But! **

**Next chapter is all about Hatori and Shigure in the car.**

**Haha.**


	13. Hatori and Shigure's Angsty Road Trip

**A/N:**

**Hehe. It's the chapter you've been waiting for!**

**Hatori and Shigure's Angsty Road Trip!**

**NOTE: The scene and perspective changes with every time slot change. It starts with Hatori and will end with Hatori. I hope that'd enough that you don't get confused.**

_Time: 7:02pm.  
Place: Somewhere.  
Status: Not near Flickey's. Happy._

Hatori leaned against the wheel with sheer sleepiness. He had been driving for what, let's say, 2 hours now? They had stopped four times already weather is be for food, to pee, or because Shigure felt like stretching his legs.

_No wonder the idiot doesn't have his drivers license. _Hatori grumbled angrily as he eyed occupant in the seat beside him. _Can't even go half an hour in a car without needed to stop. Idiot, idiot, idiot!_

Hatori wondered why he was even dragged along on this stupid trip. Was it to make sure Tohru was okay? Was it to keep Shigure company? Or was it to keep order in the court?

_Time: 7:08pm.  
Place: Driving by a "Flickey's! 20km!" sign.  
Status: Needing to pee._

Shigure pressed his hand against his crotch. How could he hold in such a massive amount of yellowish liquid for so long? He felt as if his bladder could burst. But, he hadn't the guts to say anything to Hatori.

_Maybe it's all in my head. _Shigure asked himself. _Maybe I feel as if I need to go to the toilet because I saw a Flickey's sign?_

Shigure turned to the Seahorse-Man.

"Hatori," He began. "Is it possible to feel as if you need to do something, because you've seen a sign or an advert?"

Hatori didn't look away from the road. "It may be possible. What did you see?" He practically hissed. "It wouldn't be anything Flickey's related? NOW WOULD IT?"

"N-No!" Shigure flailed his arms before returning them to his crotch. "It's just Tohru was doing a science…"

_Tohru hasn't been to school in days! What am I saying?_

_Time: 7:14pm.  
Place: Outside Flickey's.  
Status: About to kill._

Shigure had convinced him to stop once more. Hatori damned the man who decided to buld a Flickey's stop every half an hour.

_Shigure is as bad as a young child. _Hatori complained mentally. _He needs to grow up._

Shigure had been sent inside to buy four burgers, a large bottle of some cola drink and a bucket.

"Why a bucket?" Shigure had asked him.

"Because I cant stand to see you groping your crotch every time you need to urinate. Now, if you get an urge, I will slow down and you can climb into the back seat, pee, and come back. I am NOT stopping again. Clear?"

Shigure shuddered. "Crystal."

_Time: 7:32pm.  
Place: In the car.  
Status: Still hungry._

Shigure had eaten two of his four burgers already. They had driven only about 15 minutes from when they had last stopped, yet Shigure didn't seem to be able to control himself with the food and drink sitting right before his thirsty, pee-needy eyes.

"Ha'ri… if I run out of food, can we stop again?"

"NO."

"Please?"

Hatori groaned. "No, Shigure. I want to get to the hot spring! Don't you?"

"Why would I?" Shigure asked. "Nothing to see."

There was a silence as Hatori thought for a moment. "Tohru in a bathing suit."

Shigure almost gagged on his mouth full of burger. _Bathing suit? I'm there!_

"Let's roll!" Shigure yelled madly. "Can't you drive any faster?"

_Time: 7:39pm.  
Place: Stuck with a Dog.  
Status: Calming down._

Hatori had known if he said something like that Shigure would agree. Although it pained him to say things like that about the innocent child, he knew it would work out for everyone in the end. They had driven past Flickey's less than a minute ago and Shigure didn't even contemplate stopping. He didn't even look.

_Finally. _Hatori sighed. _We are almost there. Half an hour to go._

Little did Hatori know, complications would come their way. Strategically placed complications.

**WARNING: Strategically placed complications make chapter look longer than it appears!**

_Time: 7:42pm.  
Place: In the back seat.  
Status: Peeing._

"I need to pee." Shigure moaned suddenly. He hadn't even spoken to Hatori since the bathing suit thing. "Stop for a second."

"I'm NOT stopping."

Hatori didn't stop. Instead, he slowed and allowed Shigure to climb into the back seat.

_What memories. _Shigure giggled mentally. _I can almost feel the girl I was with that time in high school. Was her name Jenny? No… she was a blonde. Maria? No, I think she was a hermaphrodite…_

"Will you stop day dreaming and urinate, please?" Hatori grunted angrily. Shigure noted how unusual the word 'urinate' was. He giggled. At this point, Hatori drove over a bump.

SPLASH.

_Time: 7:47pm.  
Place: On the bonnet.  
Status: Stinky._

Hatori damned himself for not serving around that dead possum. He should have done it! But now, pee was soaking his car, his head and his cousin Shigure to the core. They stunk like a… a… a toilet.

"This sucks." Shigure sighed. "Now I will stink forever! Stink like a male in heat!"

Hatori rolled his little sea horse eyes. "Hmmph."

_Idiot. Smelly, stupid idiot. Now what are we going to do?_

Hatori had an idea.

"If we wind down all the windows… will that make it better?"

Shigure looked at his cousin. "Probably."

"Get in the car, Shigure."

They both slid back in to the soiled car. It stunk so horrible, Hatori could feel himself gagging with sick.

"Wind down… the window…" he coughed dramatically before dying. With… ANGST.

"Step on it!" Shigure called through the mist of pee. Hatori did so.

_Time: 7:53pm.  
Place: In a stink bomb.  
Status: Breezy._

Air whipped around the car's cabin dangerously as Hatori put the peddle to the metal and sped along the high way as fast as he could. Oxygen filled their lungs at top speed and it wasn't long before the only traces of urine left in the car was on Shigure himself. Of course, if it was Hatori's choice he'd let Shigure fly away with the breeze.

"Ha'ri…"

Hatori sighed. "What?"

"Would it be easier if I just take my clothes off? I mean, I could keep my boxers on and all, but, maybe I would smell less."

_Yes. _Shigure grinned gleefully. _A reasonable excuse to be naked in public._

"I don't think so."

_Damn._

Shigure opened his Coke and drank heavily. He gasped for air as his mount broke contact with the bottle. He sighed, thrist now quenched.

"Please," Hatori grimaced. "You sound like a pig."

"Oh please," Shigure groaned. "Go join the Black Parade."

_Time: 8:00pm.  
Place: Within view of Sohma hot spring.  
Status: Considering to join the Black Parade._

Hatori's eyes twitched rapidly as he glared at Shigure. The Dog glanced at him worridly, before looking out the window.

"Trust me, Shigure." Hatori told his steering wheel. The steering wheel didn't care. "If I could join the Black Parade, I would."

"You want to die?" Shigure asked, slightly ashamed for being such a bother to his dear pal.

"It's better than being with-." Hatori stopped. No, he'd prefer to be with Shigure than die. His cousin may be an annoying twat, but he was still nice and kind. And annoying. "Nothing. Don't worry."

Shigure hesitated before putting a hand to the driving man's shoulder.

"Can we stop-."

"-At Flickey's?" There was an awkward silence between them.

"No. You just drove past the hot spring."

**A/N:**

**Okay. **

**Next chapter, they will get there. Tohru will bathe for a long time. Kyo, Yuki and Momiji will make an appearance too. **

**WHEN I LEAVE YOU A PHANTOM IN THE SUMMER TO JOIN THE BLACK PARADE, WILL YOU BE THE SAVIOUR FOR THE BROKEN, THE BEATEN AND THE DAMNED?**

"**Damned rat!"**

"**Please. Shut up."**


	14. We Don't Want Her Here!

**A/N: **

**Has any one noticed I have only one story running right now that actually has a pairing to it? (Ara Koyashi!). Pretty weird… **

**Anyways, I have a HUNDRED updates to do. This is just my first. (gasp). **

**That silly Hatori… **

It was coming onto 8:30 as Shigure and Hatori stumbled through the big open gates of the hot spring. Ritsu's mother was not there to greet them; she was serving Yuki, Kyo and Momiji their dinner. Tohru, who'd fallen asleep two chapters ago, still hadn't risen from her slumber; even when the scent of a well-cooked meal wafted in her nostrils.

"Maybe we should save some for her, in a container, or something." Kyo commented as he plopped yet another square of salmon in his mouth. "I mean, she'll get hungry later on, right?"

"Yeah, yeah! Kyo makes a point!" Momiji stood up and slapped his fist to the table. "We mustn't eat anymore until Tohru gets here! Otherwise it isn't polite!"

Silence.

Yuki looked at his blonde haired cousin with shock. Why would Momiji not what to eat? The child had barely eaten a thing since that morning and now he was suggesting they don't eat at all? The Rat rolled his chopsticks in his hand.

"Wha- Momiji! I never said that, you idiotic rabbit!" Kyo said angrily. "Stop twistin' my words!"

"Wah!" The Rabbit cried. "Stop yelling, stop yelling!"

"Both of you." Yuki whispered, just load enough for them to hear. "If you don't stop, Miss Honda will wake up."

The boys sat down and began to complete their meals.

"When the chef comes, why don't you just ask him for a container?" Yuki eventually asked the Cat. He looked up.

"Hmm. Whatever."

At this point, Ritsu's mother flailed in the room.

"Young masters! Hatori and Shigure have arrived!"

.xxx.

Tohru's eyes fluttered open and she groaned softly as she turned over in her bed to look at her alarm clock. It read 9:06. Startled, she sat up.

"Why are those boys making such a noise at this time at night, it gave me such a fright!"

Tohru stopped. She had just spoke in verse!

"Oh well, it doesn't matter." She told herself as she hobbled towards where that awfully delicious smell was coming from. "I'm hungry."

She walked into the room silently and listened to Ritsu's mum, Hatori, Shigure, Yuki, Kyo and Momiji ramble on about nothing.

_At least Hatori and Shigure are here now. _She sighed. _I was getting worried. _

She turned her attention to the three Sohma boys and watched them. It seemed as if they had left a portion of their meal for her.

_How nice._ She smiled as she tip-toed over to them and edged herself down next to Yuki. She tapped his shoulder.

"Good morning."

Yuki jumped. "Oh! Miss Honda, you're awake!"

She nodded. "Hatori and Shigure!" She yelled. "You're here!"

"Unfortunately." Kyo muttered.

"Aww, don't be that way! Tohru is obviously happy!" Momiji giggled, petting Tohru's head. She smiled and gathered some rice between her fingers before putting them in her mouth.

"This sure is nice." Tohru mumbled absentmindedly through the rice. "Yum, yum, yum."

Despite all of this, Hatori continued what he has previously been saying before Tohru barged in on their conversation and began to eat.

"So," He sighed. "She'll be popping up for a visit. I don't even know why; she just gave me a call then and told me."

None of the Sohma's spoke; just dipped their heads.

"We don't want her here!" Kyo suddenly burst out. "She'll just cause trouble!"

"I also don't wish for… her… to be here." Yuki rubbed his eye. "And why didn't she say why she was coming?"

"Oh no!" Momiji wailed. "Now this whole thing to make Tohru better is going crazy! At this rate Tohru will be in a mental hospital by next week!"

Tohru coughed on her mouthful of miso soup. She whacked her chest with her hand and looked each confused and saddened Sohma in the eye.

"What's going on?" She asked. "Who's coming?"

Ritsu's mum walked out of the room in shock, muttering that she was sorry the whole way. Shigure and Hatori exchanged glances. Kyo, Yuki and Momiji weren't even thinking of speaking. Shigure nodded.

"Akito."

.xxx.

That night, as everyone was tucked into bed, the three Sohma boys and Tohru met on the roof. Why the roof? Because that's where Tohru had decided to sit.

"Why… why is Akito coming?" Tohru hugged her knees closer; she was only in her pajama's. "Is she mad at me?"

"I don't think so, Miss Honda." Yuki rested his head on his hand. "I think she just wants to annoy us. You know? She doesn't particularly like you."

Tohru nodded. "Yes, I know."

Kyo threw a rock from the roof and into the hot spring below them.

"I wish she'd just leave us all alone, or die, or something like that." He grumbled, not looking at anyone. "It'd be easier that way."

"Kyo, that's not nice." Momiji pointed out. "But I guess you're right. If Akito wasn't around, then there wouldn't be a problem. But who would be God then?"

"No one." Tohru clapped her hands together and stood up. "Come on you guys, I'm sure everything will be okay! Remember when she came while we were at the Summer House?"

Momiji, Kyo and Yuki all thought back to that time. Everything had been going fine until Akito came… then it wasn't a very pleasant trip.

"Maybe a bath would take Akito off our minds!" Momiji stood up beside Tohru and also clapped his hands. "Come on, come on, lets go!"

Momiji yanked Tohru towards the ladder on which she climbed up. Her grown hair blew gently as she climbed down and back to Earth, followed by Momiji and Yuki. Kyo had decided to just jump off the roof.

"I guess it might be nice." Yuki smiled as they walked back to their rooms. "Shall we meet in say… five minutes."

"Yep!" Momiji grinned.

And so they did.

.xxx.

Yuki fiddled with his towel again. It'd been the thousandth time that minute that he'd peeked down and made sure it hadn't flown away or anything. He wasn't sure himself why he was being so paranoid.

"Yuki," Tohru laughed. "Your towel is fine!"

"Yeah Rat-Boy, are you really THAT worried about your towel coming off? Or are you so small you're embarrassed?"

**(A/N: You would not believe how much I say that to people. (laughs).) **

With one swift movement of his foot, Yuki kicked Kyo in the shin.

"Speak for yourself." He spat, before leaving Kyo to grope his shin.

Tohru opened the door to the woman's bathing area and stood by the waters edge. She took a few moments to stare at her reflection before slipping off her towel and sinking into the heated water with a loud sigh.

"ARE YOU OKAY OVER THERE, TOHRU?.!" Came the sudden and startling holler of Momiji as he splashed around in the water.

"Shutup, you idiot! You'll wake everyone up!" Kyo smacked him across the head.

"No, you will!"

"YOU!"

"NO, YOU!"

"No, I will." Tohru butt in at random. Kyo and Momiji stopped. Yuki rolled his eyes.

The brown haired girl relaxed herself into the water so that only her nose and up stuck out. She wondered why she hadn't bought the picture of her mother again, but it didn't stick with her mind for very long. Suddenly, a loud noise filled the hot springs.

"AHHH!" Tohru screeched, before jumping up butt-naked and running out. At this point she was grateful for a) being alone, b) the guys not having the ability to see through walls and c) that she wasn't the only one who was yelling.

Momiji had jumped a meter high as the loud, sucking sound echoed across the darkness. Kyo and Yuki had been equally as petrified, but didn't make a sound; that wasn't manly!

Tohru reached for her towel and ran into the boys section with tears in her eyes. She flung the door open and, with the towel still around her, ran into the water with them.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" Kyo waved his arms around. "You can't be in here!"

"It's not like were aren't wearing anything." Yuki counteracted. "And Miss Honda is wearing something too."

Momiji, who wasn't interested in the older boys' ranting, ran straight to Tohru.

"Oh, are you okay?" He yelled and asked. "Did the noise scare you too? I wonder what it was…"

"Tohru sunk into the water with Momiji beside her and threw her head into her hands.

"It was horrifying!" She recalled, as if it were yesterday. "It was so loud… and scary… I thought something was going to eat me!"

"It was only the filters." Came an eerie voice from behind them. "So please, don't worry. I'm so sorry if I scared you. Oh so terribly sorry! I should have never turned the filter on knowing you people were in here! I must have scared you so! I'm sorry, sorry! I'm so sorry!"

There was a pause before a figure in the darkness hobbled away.

_Ritsu's mum. _Was the thought on everyone's minds as she left. _So obvious. _

"Well." Yuki yawned as the clock ticked to 10pm. "That was dramatic."

"Yeah…" Kyo rubbed his arm and tried to keep his eyes diverted from Tohru. "I'm kinda tired."

"Oh really? Me too!" Tohru squealed, as if someone had just told her that they shared the same blood type, same birthday, same favourite colour and same favourite song and was practically her twin. Kyo rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Night." He wandered away.

"Actually, I might go to bed too, Miss Honda." Yuki paused. "Would you like some help?"

Tohru nodded as Momiji and Yuki hauled her out of the hot spring and inside.

"T-Thank-you…" She wobbled to her bedroom door. "See you boys in the morning… sleep tight…"

The door opened and she disappeared inside of it. Yuki and Momiji went their separate ways.

Meanwhile… back at Sohma House…

"Kureno, hurry up with packing my bags. I want to get there before that Honda-Girl gets better!"

**A/N: **

**Gasp! **

**Please don't hate me. I felt like adding some unnecessary drama.**

**Stupid Akito. Always causing trouble.**


	15. Momiji on the Roof

**A/N:**

**Another update by Dukoro-chan the Superhero.**

**Love me!**

**And dislike Akito. I'm making her super mean in this story.**

Kureno's car pulled slowly out of the driveway it was parked in a drove down to the gates. Akito looked in the rearview vision at her house. It seemed so eerie; she'd never noticed that before. Maybe because she rarely left the house.

"Pick up the pace, Kureno." She spat all of a sudden. "We do want to get there by morning, don't we?"

"Yes Akito." Kureno said almost robotically; he didn't even have second thoughts. Akito nodded and continued to lean lazily on the door handle, drifting distantly between awake and asleep.

.xxx.

They'd been driving a little over a half hour when Akito sat up from her movement-induced sleepiness and turned to Kureno in the seat beside her. She wondered why she didn't go and get her driver's license; Kureno was always holding her back in her evil scheming, or so she thought. Then she noticed the dreaded sign in front of her.

"_Flickey's! 1km away!"_

"Kureno…" Akito whispered. Kureno didn't look at her.

"Yes?"

"We're going to stop at Flickey's." Akito demanded, not even asking or saying please. "So get ready to slow down. Do you have money?"

"Yes."

"Good." Akito rubbed her hands together. "It's been a while since I had a greasy burger."

Kureno was silent as he tried to remember some instructions Hatori had given him. He could slightly remember a few, but he knew there was one he should be remembering right about now, but couldn't.

_"Keep Akito away from anything hard to digest, like raw vegetable matter and steak-like meats. Also, no milk, cheese or anything else dairy. And for the love of God, keep her away from fatty foods!"_

Kureno slammed on the breaks and turned into the Flickey's car park; he'd not realized they were driving by it. That's what happens when you're in a world of your own.

"Akito," Kureno mumbled softly. "Hatori said not to eat fatty foods. Or dairy."

"Psh." Akito scoffed. "Hatori isn't here, is he?"

Silence.

"I said… is he?!"

"No… he isn't…" Kureno sighed. "But I don't want you to get sick!"

Akito didn't speak, she just reached for Kureno's wallet and opened the car door. She pointed to the front door of Flickey's and jumped out the car, before slamming the door rudely in Kureno's face and walking off. Kureno slumped; this was going to be one, not-so-relaxing holiday.

.xxx.

"Mmm-mmm-mmm!" Akito grinned, a bit of grease dripping from the corner of her mouth. "Nice burger."

Akito hadn't bought anything for Kureno; just a double beef and bacon burger for herself and a large can of Coke. They were just about to turn into the Hot Spring driveway (they drove along way over that page break, okay!) when Akito signaled for Kureno to stop.

"Park out here. We don't want them to know we're here yet." Akito whispered, as if she were being watched. "Alright? Let's walk."

They both gathered themselves from the car and began the slow walk to the hot spring.

.xxx. (Wow. Got alotta page breaks..)

Tohru leaned up against the wall as she watched Kyo and Yuki play table tennis. She could remember from the year previous to the last how they would both fight about the rules. Kyo never seemed to win, but it looked as if he was having fun anyway. After all, his shots were much better than Yuki's, even if they didn't comply to the rules of the game.

"Hey Momiji?" Tohru asked, walking over to the water cooler and grabbing two plastic cups of water and taking them to the hot headed Sohma cousins. "Want to play with me?"

Momiji hadn't been watching, he was playing with a game of some sort. He looked up.

"Sure Tohru." He smiled. "Just wait a sec."

Momiji hobbled into the hallway with his game in hand, the squabbling of Yuki and Kyo becoming distant. He was just about to turn into his room when-

"Hello, Momiji."

-the eeriest voice greeted him. He stood still momentarily as his mind registered where he might have heard that voice before. Then it clicked. Momiji didn't turn around.

"I said, hello." The voice grunted, becoming impatient with the Rabbit-Boy's acts.

"H-Hello…" He stuttered back.

"That better." The owner of the voice rested a hand on the frightened child's shoulder. "Say, have you seen… _Tohru_ anywhere?"

Momiji didn't want to tell Akito where Tohru was. He knew it would only cause trouble. He knew that Tohru would only get hurt. But he knew better than to lie. Instead, he twisted the truth.

"I did see her playing table tennis…" He pointed roughly in the direction of the table tennis room. "But she might have moved now."

He made it quite visible that he had been playing a game; yet another excuse to try and conceal the whereabouts of our little friend.

"Hmm." Akito rubbed her hands through her greasy hair, her fingers becoming soiled because of it. "C'mon then Kureno. Let's go."

Kureno and Akito trudged aimlessly down the hallway. Momiji breathed out and ran to his room, before heading out the screen door. Some how, he needed to get to Tohru before Akito did. But how would he get in without her seeing through the numerous windows?

.xxx.

Luckily, Momiji did sometimes listen when Kyo ranted about cat-like abilities. Momiji tried pulling himself into a near by tree as a means of getting up on the roof. If he could travel along the roof quickly, Akito wouldn't see him slinking around the gardens.

Branches scratched at his hands, but he did manage to heave himself up and on the roof.

_Oh no… _Momiji grumbled. _How am I supposed to walk across this? I'm afraid of heights! Oh no, oh no, oh no… just remember, Momiji. You're doing this for Tohru._

Momiji took one tiny step across the roof and began his perilous journey to save Tohru.

**A/N:**

**Gaaah.**

**Unneeded drama!**

**Stupid Akito.**

**Go away from this story.**

**Oh wait… I put her in here…**


	16. I Don't Feel Like Dancin'

**A/N: **

**Yeah. **

**I'm like, an update queen. **

**Fear my wicked updating skillz!!eleven!!11!!. **

**NOTE: This chapter moves from perspective heaps… starts with Kyo's, then Akito's… then Momiji's… and then yeah. You'll get it by then. **

Kyo threw his table tennis bat across the room, just missing Tohru's head, causing her to jump and spill the water she had collected for him all over the front of his shirt. He growled.

"Nice goin'," Kyo hissed. "Idiot…"

"She wouldn't have spilled it on you if you hadn't tried to kill her," Yuki stated calmly, reaching for the second cup in Tohru's hand and taking it. "Thank-you, Miss Honda." He smiled.

"Stupid girly boy…" Kyo muttered, before turning towards the glass door and heading outside. A bit of fresh air would do him good, he decided.

Standing out in the gardens, Kyo took a deep breath of the fresh, crisp air around him. Deciding it'd probably be better to sit on the roof, The Cat twisted on his heels and bent his knees slightly, before flinging himself into the guttering.

"Damn,"Kyo gritted his teeth as he pulled himself up and onto the roof, lying on his stomach for a moment to catch his breath.

_Click clack, click clack. _

_'What the hell was that!?'_ Kyo asked inside of his mind, even though no one was gonna answer. After a short pause, the sound sounded again.

_'Sounds like…'_ Kyo turned his head sideways. His eyes met a pair of feet.

"Gah-!" The Cat jumped up into standing position and pulled a fighting stance, only to lower his guard when he noticed it was just Momiji.

.xxx.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no…" Momiji gasped under his breath as he walked slowly across the roof, his arms held out to his sides as he went, trying to keep some form of balance.

The Rabbit was scared; yeah, he'd admit it. Picking up his foot pace, he prayed that he wouldn't fall. Even though the God he was praying to would most likely enjoy seeing him fall and squish to the ground.

_'Huh?'_ Momiji squinted up ahead and saw two hands reach onto the roof. _'Akito?! Oh no!' _

But, Momiji's fears were soon vanquished when he saw a large tuft of orange hair pop up and Kyo follow it, his face scrunched up as he pulled himself onto the roof.

_'Tohru must be close!'_ Momiji quickened to a hesitant scamper, his footsteps becoming loud on the roof. The Rabbit was surprised when Kyo didn't notice his presence until he was a mere two or three feet from him.

"Hey Kyo--?" Momiji started, but Kyo didn't hear him. The blonde boy gulped as Kyo took fighting stance over him, glaring.

"Oh," Kyo's arms dropped to his sides. "It's just you. Hey… wait a sec! What are _you _doing up here?!"

"I'm going to rescue Tohru," Momiji clapped his hands together, proud of himself.

"From what?" Kyo scoffed, running a hand through his hair. "A moth?"

**(A/N: I'm shit scared of moths!) **

Momiji shook his head and placed a finger to his lips, winking.

"It's a secret," Momiji knelt down to the edge of the guttering and glanced down. "Is it going to hurt to jump off here?"

"Iunno." Kyo slurred his words together, kneeling down beside him. "Why, you plan on killing yourself?"

"No!" Momiji sighed loudly. "Going to save Tohru!"

Momiji knew Kyo didn't understand what he meant when he said that, but he thought it might be best of the temperamental Cat didn't know; he knew that the first thing Kyo would do would be to jump off the roof and attack Akito, or something.

The Rabbit gulped, playing with the hem of his shirt.

"Kyo…" He began slowly. "Will you help be down?"

.xxx.

"Did you notice anything… _strange_ about Momiji?" Akito whispered as Kureno and herself walked at snail pace up the dim-lit hallway and to whereabouts Momiji had pointed.

"He seemed fairly normal to me, Akito." Kureno mumbled absentmindedly, taking in the scenery. He could have sworn he heard soft talking and thumping coming from the roof, but blew it off as being Kyo and didn't mention it.

"Do you think Honda is still there?" Akito asked solemnly, her fingers running across the wall. "Or do you think she's doing some goody two-shoes thing?"

"She's probably with Yuki," Kureno attempted to smile at the family Head, but her angry demeanor made it impossible. "And Kyo too."

"That monster," She whispered. "Uugh, he makes me _sick_."

Kureno ignored that comment and tried to change to subject to something a bit happier.

"Nice plants," He commented, pointing out the window. They were quite close to the recreational room, where the table tennis table was.

Akito was taken aback when she swore she saw two pairs of feet dangling over the side of the roof.

"Kureno, Kureno." She stood, gaping and tugging on his sleeve. "Look at that?"

"Hmm…" Kureno glanced and saw that two of the legs had cargo pants. "Kyo and an unknown friend."

"Psh, friend," Akito spat. "More like enemy."

Akito and Kureno stood by the window and watched the feet swing, trying to figure out who the mysterious stranger with everyone's loveable Cat was.

.xxx.

"Momiji sure is taking a while…"

Tohru, who had become worried over the Rabbit's disappearance and the talk of Akito coming, was frightened that maybe the two were linked. ((WTF.))

"He might have stopped to go to the toilet," Yuki shrugged, not particularly worried about it all, but knew it was Tohru's nature to be worried about such things. "You just never know."

"Hmm…" Tohru had sworn she'd heard footsteps very close by, but couldn't be sure because she couldn't see anyone, or any shadows, or anything that could even relate to a human.

Tohru then wondered if a she was being stalked by a hippopotamus who had been murdered on this block of land over a thousand years ago and wanted revenge.

Tohru clung limply to Yuki's hand, leaning on it.

"I wish he'd pee faster,"

.xxx.

"Just jump," Kyo ordered, slapping Momiji's back lightly. "You can do it! I don't wanna help you. You'll be fine."

Kyo tried to cram as many encouraging words into the once sentence without sounding like an incesting whore bag. Feeling good with his performance, Kyo nodded to himself.

"But!" Momiji waved his arms. "I'll die!"

"No you won't," Kyo pushed. "I can do it, see?"

Without hesitation, the Cat jumped and landed on his feet, hair slightly ruffled, but apart from that, fine. Kyo, who was proud of his achievement, turned around and bowed in the general direction of the large, glass window to his left. Looking up with a grin on his face, Kyo's grin was soon gone.

Momiji noticed the rapid change on the Cat's face.

"Kyo?" He called. "What's the matter… Kyo?"

Kyo gaped at Akito and Kureno, who were also gaping back at him. The Cat eventually stopped and glared at the family Head, his eyes becoming cold. Akito did the same, her forehead wrinkling with pure anger (misery!) and hate (will kill us all).

Momiji to the rescue! The Rabbit held his breath as he flung himself down from the roof, landing with a painful thud on his knees, but fine none the less. His knee caps were bleeding slightly as he stood, gasping at the sight of Akito.

_'Hurry, Momiji!' _He screamed at himself, turning and running to the door 100 feet in front of him and flinging it open, Tohru and Yuki staring at him strangely.

"Akito… coming… Tohru… leave now…" He panted as Tohru gasped.

"Momiji, your knees--!"

"Not now! Tohru, I came all this way to tell you! Akito is here to see you, but you have to go now, so get up and go before it's too late!" Momiji yelled in a loud, gibberish sounding manner. But Tohru was slightly stuffed up in the mind, so she understood perfectly fine.

"Alright!" She stood and let go of Yuki's hand. "Let's run!"

"It's too late for that…" Akito drawled from behind her. "I'm already here."

.xxx.

"Why would you bother to do such a stupid thing? Do you want attention? Are you still trying to steal my Zodiacs from me… is that it?"

Kyo, Yuki, Momiji and Tohru knelt on the floor in front of Akito, heads bowed. Akito was standing before them, Kureno just a little to her right. (to the left, to the left!).

"Answer me!" Akito yelled, infuriated.

"N-No!" Tohru bowed her head lower. "I was sleep walking… Akito! It was an accident!"

Akito raised her hand to slap the girl, but Kureno held her back.

"Now, now…" He sighed in her ear. "Maybe it was really just a misunderstanding?"

"I don't care!" Akito yelled in return. "Ugh! Coming here was a complete waste of my time! And just so you don't feel any better any soon…" Akito picked up a table tennis bat located just under her feet. "Eat this!"

Tohru looked up to see what was going on, only to be hit viciously in the mouth with something hard.

"Yeeow!" She reached for her jaw and touched it, feeling a bruise coming already.

"And this too!" Akito grated from behind her teeth, whacking her mercilessly in the forehead, sending the girl sprawling into Yuki, who transformed immediately.

"Hmmph."

Akito turned to go, the damage she wanted to inflict now done. The smirk on her face couldn't have been wider as she opened the door and turned to the four on the floor (that's for sure).

"Good day."

**AN: **

**That chapter was so random and filled with song lyrics. **

**Even the title of the chapter had song lyrics. **

**And I promise, I was gonna squeeze in some dancing, but couldn't. **

**YEAH! **

**So, NO MORE AKITO WOOOOT!**

**And maybe some Hatori and Shigure in the next chapter.**


	17. Hatori Knows Nothing About Doctoring

**A/N:**

**I do realise the previous chapter of this story was total shit... so to make up for it I flew all the way across the internet to present you with this.**

**"Hatori Knows Nothing About Doctoring"**

**NOTE: Shigure's drunken personality is taken from the drunken personality of my friend Emily. Also note that the word 'nah!' is said quick… and not dragged out. Like in the word 'Nat'.**

"Shigure, doesn't it bother you that you've consumed a highly dangerous amount of sake?"

The Dragon stood his ground, watching curiously as the Dog swayed, lead-footed, his eyes unfocused and his jaw hanging slightly.

"Nah!" Shigure raised his arm skyward and waved it slightly. "Nah! I am fine!"

The Dog stumbled forwards and almost tripped on a potted plant as he made his way towards double glass doors. He had no idea where they led, but he figured inside. And inside was good right now! Yes, yes, inside… inside where it's warm! Warm! Shigure hung his head slightly staring at his feet.

"Come," Hatori grabbed the Dog's arm and pulled slightly. "You're going to kill me with embarrassment."

'_Hatori, Hatori… why did you allow this mutt in the kitchen?'_… He shoved Shigure forward before rubbing his temples.

How did someone so educated end up in a situation like this, you ask? Simple. I shall tell you.

.xxx.

"C'mon Ha'riiii!" Shigure whined, tugging on the Seahorse's sleeve. "Don't be such a party pooper!"

"Since when were we having a party…?" Hatori thought out loud as he allowed himself to be tugged into the kitchens of the hot spring. The lights were switched off meaning, that crazy, apologizing cousins wouldn't disturb them.

"Sake!" Shigure pointed childishly to the fridge and tore the door open, reaching for a thin, blue bottle.

"Shigure Sohma, don't take that." Hatori ordered coldly. "That sake is not yours."

"Pffft." Shigure poked his tongue out and blew a raspberry at Hatori. A lone blob of saliva flew towards the doctor. In a failed attempt to dodge it, Ha'ri tripped slightly and it landed in his eye.

"Gaaah." He hollered monotonously, reaching for a hanky in his pocket to wipe his eye socket clean of any traces of Shigure.

"OWNED!" screamed the immature Dog as he took the cork out of the sake bottle and took a mighty big swig. The sour liquid burned his throat, but it was worth it.

"Hey, Hatori?" Shigure patted his companion's shoulder only to have Hatori slip and poke his eye.

"What do you want, Shigure?" The doctor was becoming fed up with his cousin's misbehavior, but tried to keep a calm demeanor about himself as tears welled in his previously poked eye.

"Would you like a sip?" This would have to be the kindest and most sensible thing the Dog had done all afternoon. Hatori smiled slightly.

"I'm fine, thank-you." And so began Shigure's drinking spree.

.xxx.

"Doesn't it bother you that Akito is probably traumatizing small children right now?" Hatori asked, taking a puff of his cigarette and turning to Shigure, who still had the sake bottle, half full, in his hand.

"Nah!" Shigure waved his spare hand around, just missing burning it on Hatori's cigarette. "It's _all_ good."

Ha'ri couldn't contain a slight chuckle; Shigure was always at his best half drunk. Turning his eyes focus towards the great open plains of the Sohma property, the doctor took another needy breathe on his toxic waste stick.

"Do you," There was a slight pause as Shigure slurred slightly. "Realise they're bad for you?" He gestured towards the cigarette. "I thought you were a doctor."

A chilling breeze swept around them as Hatori thought. _The idiot's actually right._

"Can you keep a secret, Shigure?" The doctor turned slowly to face the dog. "Because I have a secret to tell you."

"Oh, oh!" The Dog bounced on his bottom, before taking another gulp of sake. "What? Tell me! I can keep it! I can!"

Hatori rolled his eyes. "I know nothing about doctoring."

This was of course untrue; but knowing the Dog's drunken nature, he'd be so shocked he'd either pass out or run to tell someone and pass out on the way. Either way was good for Hatori; it meant he wouldn't be held responsible for Shigure's idiocy.

"My _Akito,_" Shigure stared wide-eyed at the sky, his eyes becoming teary as the sun beat down on to them. "I never knew."

Awkward silence followed, only broken by the Seahorse's occasional need for a puff on his cigarette.

.xxx.

Two thirds of the Mabudachi walked silently down one of the ever-stretching hallways on the Sohma hot spring. Steam fogged around them as they walked passed one of the many bathing ponds as they made their way towards the recreational room, where they had last seen Tohru and the others.

"Did you, did you, did yoooou! Oh, yeah, DID YOU!" Shigure broke into random song and started strutting around, hands on hips. And turned and shot Hatori a seductive glance.

"Did I what?" The doctor deadpanned, not going along with Shigure's games.

"DID YOU SEE THE WAY! OH YES, THE WAY THE LIGHT SHINED BRIGHTLY ON YOUR MOON LIT HAAAIIIRR!" Shigure threw his head back dramatically, the hair that he had upon his head fluttering and his hands clutching his chest. Any normal person would swear they saw a holy light shine upon him, but Hatori on the other hand…

"You just made that up." …Continued walking. And Shigure, as you guessed, kept singing song lyrics that came off the top of his head.

_Yeeow!_

"Shigure," the doctor's ears pricked up at the sound of a shout.

"AND I SWEAR TO AKTIO YOUR EYES ARE LIKE THE MOON LIGHT-"

"Did you hear that?"

"BECAUSE I NEVER WANT YOU TO SLIP AWWWAAAY-EEEHH-AAAHHH!"

"Shigure!" Hatori snapped, stopping Shigure in his tracks. "Listen to me! Did you hear that sound?"

"Ah, no…" The Dog thought. "I haven't heard anything. Ever."

_Poof!_

The two stood, only a wall apart from the others, listening to the various noises being made.

"Someone just transformed." Shigure pointed out, recognizing the familiar 'poofing' sound. "But who?"

"And why?" Hatori pondered. "It isn't like Tohru to just hug members of the zodiac, although, she hasn't been herself lately…" he trailed off, starting to walk again and eventually breaking into a speedy jog.

"C'mon, you," he gestured to Shigure. "Hurry."

.xxx.

"Ah… M-Miss Honda, are you alright?"

A small, grey rat lay painfully squished by Tohru. She had fallen right on to him, after Akito shoved her. Although, there was one upside to have transformed at that very moment; Yuki was staring straight up Tohru skirt.

_Stupid cat; zero. Awesome myself; one! Score!_

When the brown-haired girl didn't reply, Kyo and Momiji ran over to her, each taking a hand and heaving her off the Rat. Her arms and legs were still limp and a wet, bloody patch had formed on lips. Her jaw was bleeding.

"Damn Akito," Kyo mumbled, rubbing Tohru's back. "C'mon Tohru. Wake up, dammit!"

"No, Kyo!" Momiji held up a finger and pointed accusingly at the Cat. "You have to speak to a lady with grace! Be nice to her!"

"Yes, I do believe you should treat Miss Honda with the respect she deserves while she's ill and in pain like this," Yuki chimed in as he reached for his clothes. There was a loud 'poof!' and he changed back, slipping into not-nakedness with unholy speed.

"Nice my ass," He muttered in reply as Momiji began to work his magic.

"Hey Tohru?" The Rabbit asked the unconscious girl. "Hey Tohru, wake up, okay? When you wake up, I'll go find Hatori and he can fix the bleeding on your head, okay? So wake up." He smiled at her closed eyes.

"Pfft," Kyo snorted at his younger cousin. "Didn't even work!"

"Stupid cat," Yuki shoved Kyo a little. "If you paid any attention, you'd see her eyes are fluttering."

And that they were. As her vision went from blurry to normal, she noticed three familiar faces peering down at her, as if from the Heavens.

"Oh," She smiled. "Hello."

"Miss Honda, are you hurt at all?" Yuki slid his fingers into hers and she continued to smile.

"Of course she's hurt, you blind rat!" Kyo pointed rudely at Tohru's bleeding mouth. "You tell me to pay attention, why don't you open you're damn eyes!"

"At least I have the consideration to ask," Yuki retorted, glaring. "Unlike someone in this room."

"I don't have to ask, dammit! I can see she's hurt!" the Cat grabbed the Rat by the collar. "You wanna take this outside, girly boy!?"

"Relax, you two," Came a monotonous voice from behind them. "Fighting isn't going to heel Tohru's wounds."

Hatori strolled casually into the room, a drunken Shigure following, his arms raised up high and being flailed.

"Neither are you, Hatori!" He chuckled. "After all, you know nothing about doctoring!" He turned to the others. "Hatori knows nothing about doctoring!"

"I assure you, he's lying." Hatori sighed as he bent down, taking a shocked Tohru by the chin and pulling her closer. He glanced at her bleeding and then at the Sohma teens. "I presume Akito was here?"

"Damn straight,"

"Uh-huh,"

"That's right…"

"Well," Hatori acknowledged their answers and he rubbed the blood off Tohru's chin. "There isn't much I can do for you…" He glanced at the girl, "but give you these." And handed her a packet of pain killers.

The unusually silent Tohru nodded and plopped one in her mouth. The Sohma's stood and knelt around her, watching, waiting for her to swallow it. But… she didn't.

"Tohru, aren't you going to swallow the tablet?" Momiji asked her, touching her hand. "They'll make you feel better."

The brown-haired angel-like princess-figure's eyes lolled into the back of her head as she reached and clawed her mouth, yelling at the top of her lungs,

"BAD TASTE!"

And throwing the tablet at Hatori, which conveniently landed in his eye.

_Why is it that my eye is always the target of random, flying objects?_

.xxx.

"Ahh…" Tohru leaned back in the relaxing water, her eyes misty from the steam. "This is so peaceful…"

It was a group effort, but the men managed to cram a few tablets down her throat, before sending Tohru and Momiji off to the hot springs to relax for a while. This was done with no help from Shigure, of course, who had passed out slightly beforehand in a daze.

"Aw," Tohru had smiled at him. "He looks like a sweet, drunken angel."

"Sweet, drunken angel my ass!" Kyo yelled for no apparent reason.

Anyway, seeing as the girl was half sedated and in a partial-delirious state, she was capable of bathing with innocent Momiji without feeling the need to cover up.

"Oh, I know!" He grinned. "Aren't the hot springs wonderful? I just love it here."

"Yeah," She agreed slowly, shutting her eyes and leaning backwards. "Wonderful."

Momiji swam over to her and helped her to sit up again. He remembered what happened previously, with the whole fainting in the water and almost drowning.

"Sit up, Tohru," He instructed. "So you don't get hurt."

"Alright," she easily complied. "I'll just… sit here…" she began to slide back again, falling asleep. Not concerned, Momiji allowed her to rest, but kept a heavy eye on her so she didn't die.

.xxx.

"Do ya reckon she'll be okay soon?" the orange-haired teen asked no one in particular, tapping his foot lightly on the ground from the sitting position he was in. "I miss the old Tohru."

"As do I," Yuki agreed for once. "Hatori? Can't you do anything?"

Being the most educated, least drunk and least insane of the group, the youths relied on asking such important questions to him.

"I'm not sure, to be quite honest." Hatori took a drag of his recently lit cigarette. "Her condition seemed to be improving until today, but the water of the hot springs should put her mind at ease." He paused. "For now."

"For now? For now? For now isn't good enough, Hatori!" Yuki snapped, unable to control his need to address the situation. "Why are you taking this lightly? Why are you acting as if this isn't a big deal? Can't you see the saviour of this family is seriously ill and needs our support? Can't you see it?"

"Yes, I can see it, Yuki, but there is little I can do." The Seahorse snapped back. "What do you expect me to do? I can't pull remedies out of thin air."

Silence.

Singing could be heard from the hot springs; Momiji and his weird little song.

Silence.

Silence followed by,

"You really _don't_ know anything about doctoring, do you?"

**A/N:**

**Man, this story has become too ansgty…  
Since when was this story ANGST?**

**Anyway, so far, I haven't figured out an ending…  
So I'm just letting the story write itself…  
But, rest assured, an ending will come.**

**(smile)**


End file.
